Outside Looking in

Outside Looking in

There once was a girl who would walk around with her head down and speak to anybody new. This girl had no confidence and always preferred to be invisible because she thought that if nobody ever noticed her, she wouldn’t have to pretend to be this confident person.

People around her instantly thought that she was just shy and that as she got older, she would be less fearful, but in some ways, that wasn’t the truth. How could she let go of something when she always felt like people didn’t like her, so? For her, it was like hiding behind a mask.

When things weren’t so great at home, and people at her school or somebody from the social would ask, she would say that everything was okay because she wasn’t the type of person who would talk about things. After all, she had an experience where she thought that she had hidden things pretty well, but she hadn’t kept her cards to her chest close enough for people not to find out.

Some people may say that she has come a long way from how she to be, but the truth is that some days she feels like going back to those old days where she could paint on a fake smile and hide. Those days where she kept things to herself about how she felt was somehow good for her but not for others.

Nobody can tell a person’s true feeling about something until they talk about it, and for her, that wasn’t that simple. People had seen her grow in confidence and become this confident young lady who they’ve known to love, but certainty isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

She may have become a more confident self, but she still felt like something wasn’t right, and the whole care system had made her entirely private about so many things because she was fearful of what the outcome was.

They say that when you look through the looking glass, it’s meant to be a clear picture of what’s there, but for her, the picture people saw might have seemed clear to them, but she had found a way to make them know what she wanted to see and for a while that worked.

After a few years of making people see what she wanted them to know, she became a lot different and started to let people in a little bit, and she showed that she wasn’t all that confident. There were little things that she didn’t feel satisfied in either sharing or doing, but it’s like the saying “you don’t know until you try it”.

So that’s what she did bit by bit; she decided that she didn’t want to hide and didn’t want to pretend, so those things that used to affect her didn’t anymore because she had become more assertive and didn’t let silly things like her past mess with her head anymore she had made a diction to leave it in the past because there wasn’t anything she could change.

These days she is more like her true self than she has ever been she has learned that things happen for a reason, and she isn’t going to let that wreak what she has fought for to build up. People have such a wrong idea of churches because she has realised it’s the people in the church who have pushed her to overcome her fears and to do things she wouldn’t have a few years ago.

There once was a girl who feared the world, but now she is a lot more confident than she ever was, and that girl who walked around with her head down has gone.


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